I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
