I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
