my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
