Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
