What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
