we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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