I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
