And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
