I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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