you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
