Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
