This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I deserve this hangover.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
