my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
