lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
