everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
