So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
