I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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