TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize