one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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