My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
