Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
