If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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