He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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