I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
