Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
