I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
