Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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