did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize