i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
