bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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