I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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