physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize