evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I bet he comes in French.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Terrible idea I love it
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
