used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
