also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
