that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
