Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
And then my night got REAL pukey
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
