Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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