I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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