Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
