we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
