Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
