Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
