guys are not supposed to queef...right?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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