i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
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