shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
