I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
