You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
