did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
