Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
