i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
