Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
