the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
