I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
