She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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