Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
