Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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