I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
