I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
