As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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