Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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