Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
