I have demons in me.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
did i walk over a car last night?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
